I woke up this morning feeling scattered and it hadn’t gone away by four. I was having this very specific feeling, a feeling that took me several hours to put my finger on: it was the feeling you get a while after a big breakup, where you’re not exactly sad and not exactly missing the person, but more missing the comfortable habits associated with that person. You’re missing the part where you wake up and they have your coffee waiting on the table. Which is an odd feeling for me to be having at this specific point because I haven’t gone through any break-up of any kind recently. Also because I don’t drink coffee.

With all this scatteriness my work wasn’t much getting done, and the weather was looking a bit ominous, so I decided to go for a run while the running was good. On my way out the door I bumped into Paz, who wanted to come along. This was exciting because I was resigned to running alone, but also intimidating because Paz is small and fit and fast. We definitely ran faster than I would have solo, which I know is good for me, and we ran for at least forty five minutes. And despite the speed and the duration, it all felt pretty good.

I am at a loss to explain why some of my runs feel so much better than others. Part of it I understand: I feel better if I am rested and in good company. But other variables are still a mystery. The whole nutrition thing eludes me, as does hydration, which really seems like it should be a no-brainer. Time of day is also a factor, but morning runs feel alternatively exhilarating and debilitating.

Today’s run just felt good. I feel warm and strong and not even a little tired, which is at least something for a scattered day.